The most American vacation
Moms with endless supplies of high-waisted khaki shorts and
dads who look like Dr. Pendanski. You’ll find them at Myrtle Beach or Disney
World, Yellowstone or Mount Rushmore. You’ll see them at a roadside Denny’s impatiently
waiting for their kids to finish their third bathroom break in the last two
hours or collapsed beside the pool at the Holiday Inn Express. But where… where
between the waves of amber grain and the majestic purple mountains is the most American vacation destination for
these sultans of Skechers and their sunscreen-scented wives?
--- Places it’s not ---
MYRTLE BEACH: One of two places in the country where AARP
cards outnumber the actual population.
DISNEY WORLD (or Disneyland): Too commercial to be a truly
“American” destination. If the most historical things there happened because of
a fictional mouse and animatronic presidents, it’s an easy no for me. Not even
the hour drive to the Kennedy Space Center will change my mind on it.
YELLOWSTONE: Ehhhhh… maybe after the caldera erupts.
MOUNT RUSHMORE: Very American, but all that’s there are a
bunch of rocks that may or may not be part of a cover-up that only Nicolas Cagecan solve. In my opinion, there’s got to be more substance to a place than
that.
NEW YORK CITY: The Statue of Liberty, Wall Street,
Broadway, and Times Square are all undeniably classic tourist spots. Add in the
Empire State Building, the Freedom Tower and WTC Memorial, and 30 Rock and
Radio City at Christmastime, and it’s one heck of a trip (speaking from
experience). But at no point did it feel particularly “American.” Hacky and
gimmicky? At times, yes.
BOSTON: Loaded with places of historical significance. So
much so that two of their major sports teams (Patriots and Revolution) are so
named because of it. At this point on the list, it’s entirely possible that
Boston could contend for the title, but ultimately it won’t win it.
PHILADELPHIA: Independence Hall, the Liberty Bell, Penn
Relays, Philadelphia Museum of Art (the Rocky Steps), City Hall, Reading
Terminal Market, and Will Smith’s birthplace. Another city oozing with
patriotism and history. Home of the cheesesteak the curse of Billy Penn.
Philadelphia would be the most American city, except…
--- Places it might be ---
WASHINGTON D.C.: The hub of American politics and capital
of all things American. Monuments to at least 30 former presidents are
scattered across the city, not to mention other politicians and civil servants.
You’ve got the White House, Capitol, Supreme Court, Smithsonian, National
Archives, the zoo, the cathedral, the fistful of prominent and historic
colleges and universities, Bryce Harper’s ever-glorious hair, the Library of
Congress, yada yada yada. Just seven miles to the south is Alexandria, Virginia
– the town immortalized by “Remember the Titans.” There’s no question that the
District of Columbia is the most American city in the United States. But as far
as the most American vacation destination, the only competitor is…
THE GRAND CANYON: The fourth-largest National Park in the
contiguous 48 is about as stereotypical as American family vacations get, but
for good reason. More than two BILLION years of natural history can be examined
in the park as a result of the system of waterways that have cut into and
exposed the earth. Overlooking the various rims, cliffs, and valleys throughout
the park can be done between bouts of hiking, kayaking, and skydiving. One of
CNN’s “Seven Wonders of the Natural World,” and rightfully so, the breathtaking
scenery of the Grand Canyon appeals to thousands of families willing to risk
sunburn and bear attacks for a little quality time together.
--- Which is the most American vacation destination ---
What say you?
Which vacation destination is the most American?— Matt Birt (@BirtMC) September 11, 2017
